Tuesday, March 29, 2005

"What's your sign?"

"What's your sign?"

I think if that was the first thing anyone ever said to me I would just crack up laughing and then walk away abruptly. I use to think that astrology was a crock of shit, but after many conversations with a lot of people who aren't too outlandish for me (my Dad included) I decided to read up on it and form my own opinion.

I've come to the conclusion that I primarily believe that astrology is legit, for the most part. I don't really believe in horoscopes though, but I think that generally people fall into the category of whatever their astological sign is. Here's mine:

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Cancer Traits

Emotional and loving
Intuitive and imaginative
Shrewd and cautious
Protective and sympathetic

On the dark side....

Changeable and moody
Overemotional and touchy
Clinging and unable to let go

The sign of Cancer witnesses to the importance of roots, or origins, of considering the present in relation to the past. Many people feel they can ignore the past, yet feel something is lacking from their lives. Cancerians enrich the present by honouring its links to history.Whatever your circumstances, there is a place on earth, or an experience, or a group of people, or an interest, which can give you a sense of belonging, where you can feel at home and that you are a member of a family.

In their personal relationships they are mentally a mixture of toughness and softness, often emotional and romantic to the point of sentimentality in their fantasies; but in real life and in marriage, their loving is not so sentimental but tenaciously loyal. Even if they have affairs (and they may do so, for the male in particular is open to sensual stimulation), their first loyalty remains to spouse and family, of whom they regard themselves as the protector.

Cancerians have a retentive memory, particularly for emotionally laden events which they can recall in detail for years afterwards. They are strongly governed by childhood memories and since they live intensely in the past in memory and in the future in imagination, a chance meeting with someone for whom they had an unrequited love, even if they thought they had conquered the feeling, will easily rouse the emotion all over again.

  • Hobbies
  • Romance
  • Children
  • Home and Country
  • Parties
  • Aggravating situations
  • Failure
  • Opposition
  • Being told what to do ;)
  • Advice (good or bad)
I don't necessarily believe that nails my personality down completely, but it's pretty damn close. I am totally the guy who calls long lost friends and keeps relationships way longer than the other party might intend. I'm still friends with people who I met when I was 8 years old. I just don't see the point in letting that history go. None of my newer friends saw me go through puberty and wear braces. Most of my friends now don't even know that I have an older brother who I use to chase around and always wanted to hang out with. They usually think I'm the older brother.

I also don't know anyone who has more hobbies than I do. I actually turn new activities down on occasion so I won't get hooked. The last two years I've taken up playing Halo, throwing darts and playing poker. I collect about a million different things including candles, ninja turtle action figures,post cards, anything to do with Halloween, DVD's and magazines. There's probably more that I'm just forgetting about. It's sick, I know.

Anyway, I find astrology to be quite amusing if anything. I don't take it too seriously, but if you care to look up your sign here's a couple of decent sites that I found interesting.


www.tarot.com ( this site has an unfortunate name, but there is an astrology side to this site)

By the way, if most of you think I'm weird due to the last two posts(you know Jesus and astrology) don't worry I'm probably a lot weirder than you think.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Losing my Religion

"Religion has torn this country apart. I have no time for it, and I never felt apart of it. I am a Christian, but at times I feel very removed from Christianity. The Jesus Christ I believe in was the man who turned over the tables in the temple and threw the moneychangers out - substitute TV evangelists if you like. There is a radical side to Christianity that I am attracted to. And I think without a commitment to social justice, it is empty...When I see these racketeers, the snake-oil salesmen on these right-wing television stations, asking not for your $20 or your $50, but your $100 in the name of Jesus Christ, I just want to throw up."

That was a quote from Bono that I read in a book about U2 and their spirituality. When I was reading the book I found Bono conveying through words what my heart had always felt, but couldn't always find the correct words to display what I was feeling and thinking.

In terms of what I believe the world would stereo-type me as a Christian. I believe in the Trinity. I believe in Redemption through Salvation, butI do believe that conversion is different for everyone though. So therefore I really don't place myself in that category though these days.

I haven't consistently gone to church for years. The Bible does state that you shouldn't forsake the gathering of the bethren(and the sisters). I just have a hard time going these days. I can't commit. I committed for so long and was a rock in the congregation and then I started seeing the hypocrisy. Anytime man gets a hold of something there is going to be hypocrisy. Men aren't perfect.

I don't say all of these things to take me off the hook for not participating in what most people say that Christians should do. I think the difference between me and alot of so called "Christians" is that i'm honest. I'm not going to cover up who I am just so the pastor won't be upset with my actions. I curse,drink and smoke way more than I should. That's who I am and where I'm at in my life.

The greatest part about it though, is that God understands that and meets me where I am. He meets everyone where they are. He is that way because he is "I Am". He doesn't want cookie cutter people. If he wanted that he would've made us perfect people who don't disobey.

This is my ode to God on this Easter weekend. It brings me great joy to know that God cared enough about all of us to go through the trials and tribulations of this world so that we might have life. I don't mean that in a religious preachy kind of way. I say that for myself because that is what I believe and that is what completes my life. It completes my life because I am not worthy of the grace and mercy that has been bestowed upon me.

As I go back and read what I've typed it appears as though i'm a spiritual zealot. In alot of ways I wish I still was, but I'm jaded. I know that the church isn't perfect, but I do believe that it is people like myself who can help restore the church. People are so sick of fake and flakey religion. This world needs "real" people who are honest about who they are and where they've been.

Where do you start though? I think it starts with me loving those around me whatever their background and circumstances are. Easier said than done though, right?

"I wish I could live upto Christianity. It's like i'm a fan; I'm not actually in the band."


(If for some reason you find what I have said in this post to be bull shit. I'm ok with that. I'm normally not a voice about spiritual things, but I've felt such excitement this weekend concerning Easter that I wanted to post something "real" about myself. I guess the fun thing is about God is He knows that I have my doubts as well.)

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Whaaaat's Happennning?

Bob Slydell: You see, what we're trying to do is get a feeling for how people spend their time at work so if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

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Peter Gibbons: You see Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
Bob Porter: Don't... don't care?
Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Porter: Eight?
Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

Sometimes I feel like these excerpts from "Office Space" just about sum up how I feel about my job. Don't get me wrong. I like my job. If I have to work I don't mind coming to this facility to work with these people. Everyone's very nice and we all have a good time.

On the other hand my job is so easy that I'm bored. There is no challenge. It's not, not challenging due to the fact that I'm a genius. I'm not anywhere near genius status, if I was I wouldn't be working here. The job is just comfortable. I don't have to think about anything and they pay me more money than most College Grad's that I know. I find that somewhat disturbing and amusing at the same time. I don't even really make good money.

Office life is funny though. Have you ever noticed that there are jokes that you will laugh at when you're at work that you wouldn't even smirk at in the real world? It's a different dimension when you walk through those doors in the morning.

The people who I work closest with are pretty easy to get along with and aren't easily offended. So one Friday I started up "It's OK, it's Friday". Along with all of the other weird cheesy things office's allow people to do on Friday's, i.e. jeans, Hawaiian shirt's and tennis shoes. I thought I would add on to the list. "It's OK, it's Friday" means that you can just about do or say anything at work that you want on Friday. These are things that you normally wouldn't imagine doing or saying. If anyone questions your reasoning you just say "It's OK, It's Friday". I've been doing this for about a month now and it seems to be working out. I'll keep you posted because if it backfires I'll probably be posting a whole lot more...from home.

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
--Drew Carey

Monday, March 21, 2005

My best friend desensitized me.

My original post about Halo was really supposed to be about being desensitized by playing Halo. I ended up ranting and raving about the legend that is Halo.

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I've pretty much been a pacifist all of my life. I've never purposely inflicted a large dose of pain on anyone. I took Tae Kwon Do for many years, but have never fought back in a fight. I love war and horror movies, but the thought of going to the Doctors office makes me light headed. For some reason though Halo has made me a killing machine.

Last Thursday night was St. Patrick's Day and I was waiting outside a local pub waiting for people to come out so I could go in. While I was waiting I met a guy from North Carolina who was staying at the local Air Force Base. He was working on some sort of project during the day and drinking at night (he told me he was at the pub the night before as well).

I asked him the standard generic questions about the military. "Do you like it?" "Have you gone to Iraq?" Blah blah blah. He told me volunteered to go to Iraq, but they had enough Air Force Might over there due to the small amount of Air Force bases they have and he hadn't gone yet and probably never will. We started talking about killing people after that and that went in to me talking about Halo and he started talked about another war video game.

I just met this guy, but for some reason I decided to tell him that due to the affect of Halo on me I could probably kill someone in a war scenario. After thinking about it, it kind of frightened me that I was capable of doing that, but I am. I'm capable of doing anything. I think everyone is capable of anything.

I know people have covered this before, but it's so strange to me that our culture has turned to violence for entertainment. I understand that it's a false reality and it takes us out of our current states and excites us because it's something different than our regular hum drum lives, but it's seems very sick to me that we find this entertaining. I guess what makes it so easy is the fact that it's not real. Then again, put one of us in that real scenario and it's a different story. Has entertainment truly desensitized us so much that we could actually pull the trigger if needed?

Unfortunately it appears that people are pulling the trigger when it's not needed on a daily basis. www.cnn.com answers my question. We are desensitized. We are brutal.

18 year old American boys are killing machines!

Bill Gates is a General for a new kind of military strength.

Orders from Master Chief.

A couple of years ago I hated XBox and had no desire to play it because I didn't want Bill Gates to own another market. I avoided Xbox at all costs until one day I was sitting in a waiting room and there just so happened to be an xbox hooked up to the TV. When I first started playing the Xbox I hated it because the controller was so big that I felt like I was holding a ham sandwich with buttons on it. I popped in a couple of different games until I came across Halo. I had heard of Halo, but I had no idea what I was about to get myself into.

I played the stupid game for 5 minutes and was hooked. When it was time to go I wasn't ready to go because Halo had already begun assimilating me in it's Borg like manner. If you're a male that is between the ages of 8 and possibly 35 you know what Halo is and you understand it's power. If you don't fall into that category I'll explain to you the phenomen that is Halo.

Halo is a video game created by Bungie for the Xbox and the Xbox only. The game takes place in the year 2552. Earth has been fighting an intergalactic battle for many years with the Covenant(aliens). Earth's last military space station is all that's left of our defense before the war comes to Earth. You play the role of Master Chief. He is a Spartan super soldier and the last of his kind. Your goal is to lure the Covenant away from Earth and to kick their butt in the meantime.

I've played alot of first person shooters in my day, but this game was so realistic with a hint of fantasy that I got sucked right in. For some reason I forgot about Halo after our first meeting, but Master Chief caught back up with me about a year later. My wonderful girlfriend actually bought me an Xbox and a copy of Halo for Christmas that year and that was all she wrote.

The next 6 months was filled Halo parties at my friend Brians house. Brian is an Audio/Video man for our company that does conferences all over the US. What that means is that Brian has projectors and we could play Halo on an 8 ft. wall. That's the great thing about Xbox. It's the first system that could be linked together that wasn't a computer. You can link 4 xboxes together and play a 16 player game. On top of that not only can you play a storyline, but you can also form teams and play against one another on designated maps. It's insane. With all of that said we would have 6 hour Halo parties and still be yearning for more. It was entertainment heroin.

After playing Halo I never though that anything would probably glue my face to a tv screen that hard ever again...then they decided to make Halo2, but put off releasing it for 2 years...

Friday, March 18, 2005

Would you pop that culture on my back?

I've been thinking about pop culture today and it seems almost inevitable that you are going to be sucked into it one way or another? It seems like in this day in age since everything goes, that everything would then be pop culture, in a sense. Maybe if you dressed in Victorian dresses, walked everywhere, didn't watch TV and only listened to hymns you could out manuever it. Then again, I think those people are called Evangelical Christians, atleast the women.

(10 minutes later - I had to actually do some work.)

Thinking deeper into the subject I would have to say that there are different levels of pop culture: International,National, Regional(city,state, etc) and possibly Immediate(circles of friends) but that's hard to pin point and i'm not going to break this one down because inevitable people somewhere are going to be into something similar to you, but I believe that it's still a category.

An International Pop Culture Phenomenon I would have to say is the Ipod. The Ipod has changed the way we listen to music for ever in many different countries. It's changed everything. Not only can we steal music off the internet, now we have a handy little device that easily pulls that music off our computers without having to burn a cd. Sweet. I love Steve Jobs along with everyone else who has or wants an Ipod.

Someone of National Pop Culture status would be Anastacia. If you don't know who she is, she's a pop singer who was and might still be huge in England. When I was over there a couple years ago she seemed to be as big as Brittney. When I came home I saw some of her stuff around, but I didn't know of anyone who actually liked her or her music. She did have big boobs and had some weird signature sunglasses that she always seem to be wearing though.

You'd have to think about your own region to figure out this one. I'd have to say that in Atlanta it seems like we have the whole Dirty South Rap and Rock n' Roll thing going on. Technically, people everywhere are into it, but it's huge down here. Thanks to Dave Chapelle(pop culture name drop), Lil' Jon is insanely huge. Granted Lil' Jon's music is getting bigger now due to him and Urrrsher, but holy shit I heard people saying "Whaaaattttt!!!!" and "Okkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!" everywhere I went for 6 months.

Anyway, If you don't like my answers you can come up with your own. The possibilities seem to be endless.

It's Friday and it's 5:00pm. I'm going home.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

"In the beginning..."

I've decided to upgrade. I didn't like all of the restricitons and the highschool feel of live journal. So I thought I would try out blogger. I doubt anyone will be reading this for a while, but you have to start somewhere.