Sunday, August 28, 2005
C.S. Lewis is one of my favorite authors so I decided to post some of my favorites quotes by him. If you're not familiar with him, which I'm sure most of you are, he wrote The Chronicles of Narnia as well as a library of other great books with topics spanning from Fantasy to Sci-Fi to even the Gospel. As I read over his writings it makes me realize how far ahead of his time he still is.
I'm glad that Christians have his books to read. I think it helps alot of them to be more normal. I think that's what's wrong with the Church today. They don't know how to be normal anymore. It seems to me that so many Christians spend their time being in opposition of "worldly" things that they almost forget what it's all about, loving your neighbor as yourself.
I never want the purpose of my life to be a picket line or a protest against everything that I disagree with. There are better ways to overcome those things.
Enjoy the quotes!
"There have been men before now who got so interested in proving the existence of God that they came to care nothing for God himself...as if the good Lord had nothing to do but exist! There have been some who were so occupied in spreading Christianity that they never gave thought to Christ."
"A man who really believes that "Heaven" is in the sky may well, in his heart, have a far truer and more spiritual conception of it than many a modern logician who could expose that fallacy with a few strokes of his pen."
"Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done."
"If you examined a hundred people who had lost their faith in Christianity, I wonder how many of them would turn out to have been reasoned out of it by honest arguement? Do not most people simply drift away?"
"I think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him."
"Man with dog closes a gap in the universe."
"Nature has that in her which compels us to invent giants."
"If Christianity is only a mythology, then I find the mythology I believe in is not the one I like the best. I like Greek mythology much better: Irish better still: Norse best of all."
"In our world", said Eustace, "A star is a huge ball of flaming gas."
"even in your world, my son, that is not what a star is but only what it is made of."
(N.W. Clerk was another name C.S. Lewis would write under.)
Thursday, August 25, 2005
It’s amazing to me that you can put so much awful and unhealthy food in your body in the course of a week. Shit, even a day,
Yesterday I was running an errand for work and I decided that I would just swing by Taco Bell on the way back to the office so I wouldn’t spend so much time “OOO” (“out of office”. If you didn’t know what this acronym meant, that’s good for you!) I ordered a soft taco and two enchirito’s. The TB Lounge isn’t the healthiest of places to eat, not to mention their initials are TB, but the food is cheap and good. Decent decision. I bring my Mexican entrée back to the office and get back to work.
Later that day as the glorious hour that is Five O’clock is rolling around I suddenly find myself hungry once again. It had only been four hours or so since the last meal, but Taco Bell doesn’t always fill you up and since I’ve recently quit smoking I hear that you have a tendency to eat more in this situation. I indulge. On the way to the chiropractor’s office I decide to swing by Chik-fil-a for an eight pack of their chicken nuggets. Not the best of decisions.
As I’m pulling up to the Doctor’s office I finish off the last of my fries and drink. I feel a little woozy not only eating fast food twice in the same day, but with only five hours separating these meals. My stomach settles down after a few minutes though and it’s not a problem. I get adjusted and go home.
My plans for last night involved cheap beer and small stakes poker. I picked up a 12-pack of highlife and pulled $20 out of the ATM for a weekly poker game that a buddy of mine has at his house. I show up a little early and we decided to play some small free games while we wait for everyone else to arrive.
After a while though, I once again find myself hungry. This time I’m craving the big boy. I actually want a cheeseburger from McDonalds. Mickey D’s and I have a long running history of illness and disgust, but once a quarter I usually get that craving to put disgusting garbage in my mouth that has no redeeming factor. I would’ve probably been better off eating my own feces, but they put crack in that shit and I wanted it.
My brain is telling me to hold off and the craving will go away, but stomach is screaming for a burger and there is no way I’m going to smoke a cigarette. I sit at the table a while contemplating my next move. I should’ve held strong, but I folded to Ronald. Fuck that clown. Off we went to Mickey D’s.
I order from the dollar menu, but end up getting upgraded into a meal by the lovely lady working the drive-thru window. They are quick and thorough at this fast food waste land. Before you know it we’re back at the house and my stomach won the fight. The burger is good and the fries are superb, but the thought that I’ve eaten fast food three times today keeps running around in my mind. I clean my plate… or wrapper.
A lot of my experiences with McDonalds end up with me hugging a toilet at some point in the night, but last night I was fine. I came home from a good evening of hanging out with friends and went to sleep. The only thing that got me out of bed this morning was my alarm clock.
During this late morning though, I have realized that McDonald’s has changed their approach to making me sick. They’ve used the sleeper technique, just when I think I’m going to get away with eating shit without repercussions it sets in.
My stomach feels like a babbling brook, my head feels like a fish bowl and I can feel the grease lining my veins. When I was younger I could stomach the beast. I was his master and he called me the exalted one. I was David and he was Goliath. I could defeat him with one blow and I was feared across the land.
I got old.
I cannot compete any longer.
I am Nolan Ryan, but I have thrown out my arm.
I am Michael Jordan, but I cannot jump.
I am Pete Sampras, but cannot return a serve.
I am Johnny C., but I cannot eat another Big Mac.
I am the old and dying King who has had his Kingdom over thrown.
I kneel before you, Great Grease God of the Fast Food Babylon!
I will never challenge you again!
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
My good friend Daniel and I were having a conversation about Pat’s comments last night when somehow we got off track and started talking about ninja’s and conspiracy theories.
Basically, it came down to this. If the government thinks they should plan a preemptive attack or assassination attempt against a world leader because they find him to be dangerous, I don’t want to know about it.
We’re America. We’re good at being sneaky. Our libraries are filled with volume after volume of books that cover every conspiracy theory you could ever think of. If Hugo Chavez dies tomorrow from food poisoning I want to believe that. Not because I’m a naive idiot, but because that’s how our government should make it happen if they find it fit for him to be “taken out”.
Why do I think this way? Because even though Pat Robertson is crazy he does have a point about spending more money on war. I don’t necessarily agree with every war that the Bush family has gotten us involved so if we could avoid spending more money and lives on killing people then I’m all for it. Everything I am saying is hypothetical. I’m not saying that we should kill anyone.
With all of that being said, Daniel and I came to the conclusion that the government should open up another branch of the military focusing on the art of Ninjitsu. I think this would add to our military might and I don’t think it would be hard to fill the branch. What guy did not dream about being a ninja at one point or another? I grew up watching American Ninja movies. Not to mention I have the second largest Ninja Turtle action figure collection of anyone I know.
Not only would having the ninja branch of the government give us the coolest army I think it would cut back on a lot of costs and loss of life.
Let’s say the government found a terrorist training camp. Instead of sending in the army to attack, let’s send in 5 ninja’s to contaminate the water supply. There probably wouldn’t be a single shot fired and by morning the terrorists are all wiped out due to their tainted water. See what I’m talking about now?
If we would’ve sent the Army in to do this certain task we probably would’ve lost some men and spent a lot of money on artillery. Now that’s not a knock on the Army. We definitely need those guys for combat. Ninja’s are for incognito missions to help prevent those combative situations from occurring. This was just an example to show how the Ninjitsu branch adds value to all branches of the military.
After a lot of discussion and consideration we realized that this new branch of the military could only be birthed by the hand of a liberal leader. Could you really see George Bush or even Ronald Reagan in his day bringing about the Ninjitsu branch? These guys are too proud. They want to come in with guns blazing. They’re cowboys! They want a show down! They need a gun fight! They need to prove that they are men and that they’re going to kick your ass!
It’s too bad that Bill Clinton isn’t in office anymore, I really think if this was pitched to him in the right manner that he would really go for it. Bill’s a thinking man. He’s sneaky and I really think he would get into the ninja thing. He could’ve been an honorary Grand Master of the Ninjitsu since he doesn’t have any other military back ground due to draft dodging.
Well, I guess it looks like the next chance to instate this branch of military will be in 2008 when Hillary runs.
I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Marked by interest in and behavior directed toward others or the environment as opposed to or to the exclusion of self; gregarious or outgoing: “the hearty and extroverted types who dominated public life in Boston” (Thomas P. O'Neill, Jr.).
If we just met tonight this would probably be the first characteristic that would come to your mind regarding me.
I just love people. I like asking them questions. Telling them stories. Making them laugh and I really enjoy listening if I can control my urge to not be in the spot light for a few minutes. Over the years I've become quite good at controlling that impulse. It's easy for me to talk to anyone and I've realized that it's not that easy for everyone, so I try to make them feel welcome and put them at ease.
People are vaults with beautiful treasures inside. I love the opportunity to peer inside to behold it's magnificent contents. You can't pry these doors open though or try to break the lock. But if you do you will realize that you taint what lies inside. You miss the chance to see it in it's purest form. You have to be invited in.
If I've learned anything about people, it's that we are all valuable. We all possess different gifts. The knowledge and wisdom of this world does not lie in only one person, but we all hold different measures of it. That reassures me that we do truly need one another to make it in this world.
I always liked this verse pertaining to this matter.
"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falls; for he does not have another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
Alot of times when I'm in the midst of my loves ones. I forget these truths about them. It's times like today when I'm by myself reflecting that I truly realize what I have around me. That's how it always goes though. We just need to realize these things and take them back into our relationships.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Now this may sound kind of extreme, but I wasn't worried about it for some reason. I figured some of it was just allergies and maybe I just smoked too much. I went to the doctor at some point for a physical as well and they weren't too concerned. I had a very bad gag reflex which also affects the action of passing out. So that was somewhat explained.
I decided since Doctors weren't a tremendous help that I would do some testing on my own. I would cut out certain aspects of my diet to see how my body responded. I cut out drinking for a little while. It didn't really help. I cut out smoking and that helped some, but I was addicted and the changes weren't too drastic at the time so I started back up again. Sugar seemed like a good one to cut out because for some reason I would get dizzy when I drank coke or had a lot of candy.
I came to the conclusion that sugar wasn't a good deal for me, but sugar is in every thing though so I didn't pay much attention to it. Until it happened...
I was walking through the grocery store one evening with my girlfriend when I started feeling kind of dizzy and weak. I decided to get a drink of water. It didn't really help. We continued browsing around the store when it hit me, "Johnny, you're going to pass out if you don't sit down."
I ran to the nearest chair and sat down as soon as I could. My girlfriend ran to buy a bottle of water for me. While I was waiting on her I started reading the contents of my wallet so I would focus and not black out. Then the shivering kicked in and the involuntary body movements. I couldn’t keep my legs from bouncing up and down.I was starting to get scared now because my symptoms had never been this drastic before.
I played it cool though and convinced Katey to drive me home. Once we got home I immediately made a burrow out of about 3 to 4 comforters. I still couldn’t get warm so we decided to check out Webmd.com. I told Katey to look at the symptoms of hypoglycemia.
I was feeling all of these symptoms so I decided this was what was wrong with me. My brother is hypoglycemic and I remember his blood sugar drops when we were kids, so I remembered that orange juice was the answer.
“Katey, grab the orange juice!”
I downed a couple of glasses of the OJ and started feeling somewhat normal again. I managed to get in the shower and turn the hot water up so I could my body temperature feeling normal again. After I regained control of my body something strange happened. I had to go to the bathroom.
I know that sounds weird, but it wasn't just once. It was for hours. This concerned me, but we kept the fluids flowing through my body so dehydration would be out of the question. I later found out that when your body has a major blood sugar drop that your body processes everything in it very quickly looking for energy.
After I got balanced out that night I felt awful for the better part of a week. I wasn't sure the best course of action to take here so I decided to just not eat sugar anymore and to eat small healthy meals regularly. Apparently natural sugars were ok, because they stabilized my sugar drops, but candy and coke were out of the question.
So I dubbed myself hypoglycemic and stopped eating sugar. I've experimented from time to time to see if my diagnosis was correct and I believe i'm on target. I actually went to the doctor as well. He didn't want to run tests on me because I had stabilized my diet, but he said if it got worse to come back in and we'll do some testing. So if the old Doc wasn't worried I'm not going to be either.
Here's where I think I should start an infomercial.
All of this happened about 6 months ago. My diet is pretty stable now and if I ever feel a drop I take care of it immediately. Hypoglycemia has become a main aspect of my life considering most food that is delicious or tempting to eat is loaded with sugar. I'm the guy in the super market reading labels now. I've gotten pretty good at this though and I know what I can and cannot eat.
After the first couple of months of not eating sugar I noticed that I had lost about 5 lbs. The next month I lost another 5 lbs. This trend has carried on every month since then. I have now lost a grand total of 25lbs. What's interesting to me is the fact that I wasn't really over weight when all of this happened.
I'm 6'1". I weighed 183lbs. when I had the bad episode. 6 months later I now weigh 158lbs. At first it was quite amusing to me considering I eat whatever I want, as long as there isn't sugar in it, but the more the weight came off the more concerned I got. I talked to my boss about it though since he also is hypoglycemic and he reassured me that when you change your diet so drastically that these are the effects of it.
That's a relief.
So now i'm working on a weight loss book deal with Time-Warner.
Pre-order your copy today!
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
$2.59 for a gallon!!
(excuse me a second here: HOLY SHIT!!!)
My car only holds 12 gallons. I put about 11.5 gallons in the car and the total came to $29.99. When I bought my four door four cylinder sedan one of the main pros was that I wasn't going to have to spend alot of money on gas. You could drive a fucking vespa and still have to take out a second mortgage right now.
(Yes. I am overreacting. I understand this.)
I just remember when gas was so cheap. Remember $.65 a gallon back at the end of the 90's?
Life goes on. It's not the end of the world. I'll cope.
It just breaks my heart to think that my hard earned cash is having to pay for gasoline opposed to DVD's and action figures.
Anyone want to car pool to work?
Friday, August 12, 2005
I've recently started going back over old posts I had made on that site over a year ago and came to the conclusion, that I had more of a stream of thought writing style back then, to say the least. Most of my entries on that blog we're always sarcastic and ridiculous on purpose.
Here are some excerpts from the blog formerly known as :Infamous an unruly
"I love my mom and her lesbian lover. My Dad talks to Buddha. My brother talks to Ghosts. I listen to George Norey."
"Katey is wonderful. She works at starbucks and when she closes she gets all of the leftover pastries and cookies that no one else wants and gives them to me. There's no way in hell I could eat all of them so I bring them in to work. For the rest of that day I am exalted and referred to as "The Great Sugar God of the High Place that no one can ascend except for the holy one who we has access through his righteousness". Yeah it's kind of weird that they call me that. I told them to shorten it and just call me "Sugar God" sorta like "Sugar Daddy", but I only have cookies, not much money."
"There's a scene in Jason vs. Freddy where some highschool kids throw a party in a field and they end up dead. Actually, my old roommate's brother was in that movie. He was the guy who got the flaming machete through his back and out his chest. He had to know he was going to get killed. He's Canadian." (I really do love Canadians.)
"I'm in California. Most of LA reminds me of a bad episode of Miami Vice."
"You might be thinking to yourself right now, "Homeless people aren't Zombies." They are Zombies and I will tell you why."
"Katey and I are going to see I hate huckabee's today. then we're going to $%&* in the backseat of my car after smoking a bowl and shooting up. We've already started eating some shrooms for breakfast. I love everybody." (This was a joke)
"I think when George Bush dies we should freeze his head in hopes that one day they will learn how to revitalize frozen heads and Bush could reign the Universe from his silver platter. We could make this happen. George would be like Darth Vader and go around an exterminate the universe of any "evil" and then we would have it all to ourselves(Americans that is). Didn't you watch the Star Wars trilogy? I'm so proud to be an American!! Freedom Fries all around tonight!! I'm buying!!" (I wrote this as a sarcastic answer after hearing a really ridiculous arguement that took place before the election.)
Anyway, I hope you can find some humor in these ridiculous entries as I have.
I actually managed to get some incentive going as well. Two people offered to buy me a lunch and dinner if I can stay off the death sticks through the new year. I could do it without the incentive, but now I have something to look forward to.
The only problem with quitting is the fact that every where I go I am surrounded by smokers. The temptation isn't that overwhelming, but it's still there. I know in the long run I will benefit in more ways than I will realize.
Hmm..Maybe I should change my profile picture since smoke is encompassing my head.
Anyway, here's to long life and fresh air!
Thursday, August 11, 2005
I just wanted to give some props to some blogs and other misc. means of entertainment that I've gotten my hands on lately.
First of all, If you don't know who Dane Cook is then you need to check him out. He's a comedian who has some albums out with Comedy Central. This guy is insane and he'll make your sides hurt he's so funny. Mike Birbiglia is another great comedian.
Here's the deal though:
Dane = Potty Mouth
Mike = Boy next door
I've come across some great blogs lately as well.
Kevin Apgar has a great thing going on over at his place. Great entrys and a good taste in music and books as well. Check this guy out!
Sandra Heikkinen, who I just realized I found her site through Magazine Man's keeps me entertained as well. MM, you're making some people popular with me. I can just check out your links to find new blogs.
I came across Waiter Rant through Sandra's, but I actually think I randomly came across his a couple of months ago. I don't know why I didn't come back for more. If you've ever been in the service industry you can totally relate to this guy. Great Stories.
If you haven't been over to Gaping Void yet, you're missing out. Hugh has one of the best business minded blogs I've ever seen. His comic business cards are glorious!
Also, I have a Gmail account with 49 more invitations to send out for Gmail sign up. If anyone wants one. Leave me a comment with your e-mail address and I'll hook you up.
Oh by the way, listen to Wilco.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Your PCS Service
has been turned
off. Please make a
My cell phone bill this month is $120. That is ungodly and uncalled for. They have already posted next month’s bill as well. It is already over $120. I have not gone over on my minutes or text messages either. My cell phone plan shouldn’t exceed $60 a month with everything included. So how in the hell can they already say that my bill is double my regular payment? I don’t understand it and it never makes sense. I struggle with them every single month on these bull shit issues.
In light of all that has occurred I’ve decided to boycott my cell phone company similar to the way that Peter Gibbons boycotts work in “Office Space”. I don’t want to talk to them anymore regarding my cell phone payment. I don’t want to give them anymore money. I don’t even want another cell phone.
Not having a cell phone the last few days hasn’t been so bad. The first day without my phone was horrible. I ended up driving to some of my friends houses because I couldn’t call them. Wouldn’t you know it, none of them were home.
Once Monday rolled around and I could use my office phone it wasn’t a big deal anymore, Oh yeah, I think I left out the fact that my roommate and I don’t have a home phone because we both have cell phones. So for now when I’m leaving the office I just have to make sure I make all of the needed phone calls before I go.
Overall, I find this a pretty big pain in the ass, yet I’m not concerned enough to run out and get a new cell phone plan. I might see how long I can hold out. I mean, seriously though, we did live without cell phones not too long ago.
Fuck those Sprint Bastards!
They’re not getting anymore of
Monday, August 08, 2005
Opening up another line of credit just because your current line is almost maxed out.
Buying a laptop computer that you don't need on one of your other lines of credit that you've been doing pretty good about not maxing out.
Smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.
Not working at work.
Writing blog entries at work after reading about people getting fired about blogging at work or about work.
Blogging about not working at work.
Buying more DVD's than you can keep up with or even watch.
Buying action figures that you won't ever take out of the package.
Listening to NOFX at work.
Not paying your cell phone bill due to personal conviction.
Listening to music about picking up girls in the produce aisle at the Super Walmart.
Reading Michael Moore books for educational purposes.
Voting for George W. Bush because he's a good public speaker.
Watching American Idol.
Watching Reality TV.
Friday, August 05, 2005
I've also updated some of my blog links so you might be on there. Also, if you're out of touch with blog reality you might want to get with it and check out the new Van Gogh over at The Adventures of Art Lad.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
"Seriously! She can't actually be thinking about calling that raise. It's fucking huge!"
"What the fuck does she have to make her call that raise?"
"Shit! I can't get out of this hand! What's another two thousand(fake money)?"
"Damn it! She called that fast!"
::Flips over pocket Kings::
"I've got Kings..."
"I flopped the straight."
I haven't really talked about the fact that I play poker atleast twice a week on this blog. I've been playing out places for the last year. Before that I was playing free home games for 6-9 months. It's a huge part of my life. It's not just a game anymore and I wouldn't call it an addiction. I don't have a gambling problem either. I'm just a poker player.
With poker there are high's and low's. Sometimes, it's just not your day,night,week,month or even season. You can play the damn game perfectly and still lose. Alot of people feel that alot of luck is involved with poker. I would definitely have to disagree. I would say that poker is about 15% luck and the rest is truly skill. If it is luck then how come the same three guys win at my home games 90% of the time? Thankfully, I am one of them.
In the last year I've won 5 tournaments. I've gotten 2nd place once. 3rd a good bit and 4th place calls me his bitch. I hate fucking 4th place. 4th place in small tournaments is like 4th place at the olympics. No one gives a shit.
Something i've learned though about poker or any sport or game for that is this: I will take 4th place every week at a tournament over placing randomly on both ends of the spectrum.
In poker you need to be solid and consistent. Yes, you need to change up your betting style and switch gears from time to time to throw off giving away tells, but you can't be a maniac and you must be patient. I must say that this is a trait that I have acquired. If I really want to play cards. I can sit there like a fucking statue all night. It doesn't bother me anymore. I'll just let other players beat each other until I get the cards.
With all of that said, I finished 4th place last night in the championship round of a weekly poker tournament i've been playing in for the last 6 months. Everyone who played last night had placed atleast 1st or 2nd in the last 6 months at this tournament. Which means that everyone playing knew what they were doing.
I'm ok with getting 4th. I wanted 1st, but that's life.
After playing so much poker over the last year so seriously. I've decided to take a break for a while. I just need to spend sometime away from the game. I feel alot of times stepping away from the table helps me to gather myself and play even better the next time I decide to pick up a deck.
"I'm going to have to lay this one down."
P.S. I could take Wil Wheaton.
Monday, August 01, 2005
I miss it.
Blog life has taken a backseat to real life for the time being.
The love of my life has been in and out of the hospital all weekend.
She's been through alot:
Two trips to the ER in one weekend. She's still not out of the hospital.
Gut wrenching abdomen pains that caused her to go the the ER.
Doses upon doses of morhpine to help ease the pain. It didn't work that well so they switched her to something else that has finally allowed her to get some sleep for the first time in 5 days.
Prescriptions of Percocet and some other crazy drug that I can't pronounce. Neither of them helped.
One cat scan and an x-ray. The MRI is tomorrow.
With all of that being said and done they still don't know what the hell is wrong with the girl of my dreams.
All of her vital signs are good though and nothing showed up on her cat scan. So we're looking good there. I'm just trying to stay positive and love on her as much as possible. Hopefully, tomorrow the MRI will help bring a diagnosis.
I don't know if any of you all pray, but if you do. Kathleen Ryder could use some prayers right about now.
It's horrible that times like these show you what you have and what you've taken for granted.
The good news is that I'll have a some wonderful pictures to go along with a glorious blog entry covering our next date when she gets healthy.