Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Crazy ass cell phone post 3!

I've managed to "borrow" my friend's cell phone to post on the blog yet again! I'm currently running a poker game and i'm sitting around with nothing to do. While sitting and waiting, i decided to run out to the car and grab a book. I haven't read the book i grabbed for months. I have this problem with starting books and not finishing them. My problem with reading is that i start too many books a the same time. I love the summer time though. Here is why, i find myself strangely attracted to going to the neighborhood pool. The great thing about going to the pool is that i finish the books that I started in the winter. It seems to be the oddest combo to me. Water,sun and books, but it gets the job done. I was going on to chapter 9 of this book,but since i know i'm going to read alot this summer i think i might just start over.

Hump Day

I don't know if it's just my immature and perverted 5th grade mind coming out, but when people say Hump Day it makes me want to laugh.

Hump Day has come early this week. I like 4 day work weeks. I think I wouldn't mind a 7 day work week, if I could work for home. I probably(I actually just for got how to spell probably) wouldn't get much accomplished though. I'd most likely end up sitting around drinking beer,playing video games and writing in my blog.

Maybe I could get paid as a beer taster, or a video game checker outer or maybe if I would focus and write something worthwhile, (dorky stories about treasure chests that I won't finish don't count as A Material) I could get paid $.25 a blog entry. $1.25 a week for writing in my blog is more than I'm making now!

I think we all dream this way though. Here's a good quote to possibly help further our actions.

"I'm tired of dreaming. I'm into doing at the moment. It's, like, let's only have goals that we can go after."

I believe Bono said that. I like that guy. I bet when he started rocking out in his garage when he was a teenager, he had no idea what he was getting himself into. I hope I'm doing something right now that in a few years I won't believe what chain reaction it set off, in a good way.

Happy Hump Day! I hope the Margaritas have worn off by now from the weekend.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Johnny's First Video

Well, it's not quite a vlog, but we're getting there. This is a little video I filmed at the Georgia Aqaurium about a month or so ago. I hope to have some vlogs in the future. We'll see how that goes. I was trying to keep quiet, so my voice sounds weird, but oh well.


Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The Bible Belt


"Leaving Jesusland"

We call the heartland not very smartland, IQ's are very low but threat levels are high

They got a mandate, they don't want man-dates, they got so many hates and people to despise

In the dust bowl, cerebral black hole, the average weight is well over 200 pounds

I hate to generalize, but have you seen the thighs, most haven't seen their genitalia in a while

Maybe that's why they're so pissed at us

They're all jealous we're having better sex

Queers, transgends, and lesbians, vegans and vegetarians

All you brownish red and yellow ones come out and join us on the coast

No longer svelte, they gotta punch new holes in the Bible belt

They've blown out the fire under the melting pot, the red blood of America is starting to clot

No compromise, no sight thru others' eyes, they're just flies spreading pieces of shit

You gotta emigrate, stop living in hate, what makes this country great is dwelling on either side

They don't want visitors in Jesusland

They want life bland and canned in the fatherland

We want people with college degrees, drug use experience and STD's

People with open-minded philosophies, come hug California trees

Cultural revolution now, neo-conservatives run outta town

We're gonna burn Orange County down,

And then we're off to Riverside, Bakersfield and Fresno too, then we're comin' after you

The fear stricken, born again Christian, they got a vision a homogenized state

Texas textbooks, Bibles, and prayer books,

They want them memorized, but don't want you to think

They don't want visitors in Jesusland

They want life bland and canned in the fatherland

Punk Rockers and emo kids, people doin' things the church forbids

Buddhists, agnostics, and atheists we're moving out of jesusland

Art students and thespians, (excluding country) all the musicians

We want all hookers and comedians, nihilists are welcome too

No longer svelte, they gotta punch new holes in the Bible belt

My roommate recently downloaded the new NOFX album for me. If you've never heard of NOFX, then go here. They're basically one of the founding bands of "pop" punk. The last few albums they've started getting more politically minded, and even though I don't always agree, they still bring up some good points. With this song that I posted, it's sad to me that the south is thought of as being so full of hate. Granted with NOFX, you always have to take their lyrics with a grain of salt because they can be quite satirical. There is always some truth in jest though.

I often forget that I live in the "Bible Belt", except for on Sundays when I want to buy beer and all the package stores are closed.Or when I want a chicken sandwich and Chik-Fil-A mocks my pain by being closed, or when I want to basically do anything after 6pm, and everything is fucking closed. It drives me up a fucking wall.

Since I live in the city though, I honestly don't see alot of the hate or the strange looks when a gay couple walks buy holding hands. I do however, work in the suburbs for a religious company and hear some of their banter. For the most part though, they are all really good people who I do believe love and care about others no matter what their race,sect or preferred dating partner might be. Alot of them want to save the world, but didn't we all at some point?

I know in some of the moral rural areas there are "red necks" who are old fashioned and have alot of hate, but are there not "politically correct" people who own a condo in the city who are the same way, but just towards a different people group. Is it ok to hate those who hate others? We can't live a double standard. I think we always
need to be mindful of judging others, who judge others. We don't need to stoop down to their level.

Basically, no matter where you live,where you're from or how you're raised, they're are always going to be hateful, judgemental people and graceful, accepting folks. They run in every circle of life. I think our responsibility is to serve as an example of accepting others and shedding some light on some of those people who have been raised in ignorance.

To bring it home though, I love the South. It definitely has it's quirks, and living in the Bible Belt definitely has it's cons. But it's really hard to beat the sweet tea, fried okra and the southern hospitality that most southerners do show.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Lloyd Fucking Dobler!

"It appears that countless women born
between the years of 1965 and 1984 are in love with John Cusack. I
cannot fathom how he isn't the number-one box-office star in America,
because every straight girl I know would sell her soul to share a
milkshake with that motherfucker. For upwardly mobile women in their
twenties and thirties, John Cusack is the neo-Elvis. But here's what
none of these upwardly mobile women seem to realize: They don't love
John Cusack. They love Lloyd Dobler."

Fellow Blogger Update!

I've updated my "Fellow Bloggers" list. Please check out "A Sphere is a Sphere" and "Shaunna Faye" when you get a moment. They haven't been up and running very long, but these ladies have been doing this longer than probably most of us.

Also, Feel free to turn me on to the next "best kept secret" blog if you know any. I'm looking to expand my horizons a little.


Sunday, May 14, 2006

The Internet, Fuck Yeah!

I think it’s a very exciting time to be alive, especially when it comes to technology. The advances that we’ve made in regards to computers in the last 20 years has been astounding, not to mentioned how far the internet has come in the last 10 years. I use to be upset about not having flying cars, but online banking, poker and blogging sort of makes up for it. Honestly, if we had flying cars, I wouldn’t be able to afford one anyway.

One of the greatest benefits of the fast growing internet technology, is the fact that it’s really hard to lose touch with someone these days. As long as you have an e-mail address you can keep up with most everyone. If you’re decently internet savvy you might have a myspace account or maybe even a blog. The more and more that people become visible on the internet the easier and easier it will be to stay connected.

The web 2.0 technology is making this all happen. If you don’t know what web 2.0 is, it’s basically the side of the internet that’s community based. You know, blogs, myspace, flickr, youtube and any other site that allows us to interact and stay connected.

I personally have tried to find some long lost friends on the internet, as I’m sure most of you have as well. We can google search them, we can join highschool alumni sites and you can even look up names on myspace. I’m sure there is a plethora of different ways to track someone down in cyber space that I haven’t even heard of.

I imagine by the time I have kids there will be so many other ways to stay connected on the internet. For the most part, I think it’s awesome that we have this technology. It’s allowed me to stay in great touch with one of my best friends, who hasn’t lived in the same town as me, since I was 16. Here we are 9 years later and still great friends and completely in touch with everything going on with each other. I bet I talk to him more than some of my friends that live here in Atlanta.

I guess with everything there is a positive and a negative, a yin and a yang, if you will. The negative I have found with this online community is that sometimes people find you, that you don’t want to find you. The creepy guy from high school who always wanted to hang out with you, has found you on myspace and keeps trying to add you as a friend. Your crazy ex-boyfriend who you broke up with 3 years ago found your blog and keeps up with everything going on in your life. You name it, I’m sure it’s happened.

I can handle the crazies of the internet. It comes with the territory, but when the high school bully resurfaces on the internet and wants to be friends after all these years. Maybe I’m being mean, but it’s just kind of weird. I understand that people grow up and mature, but why try to rekindle something that never existed in the first place.

With all of that being said, I think I might just leave some long lost people, long in the past and lost forever.

Friday, May 12, 2006

I feel great!

I just came across this old commercial, that I don't think ever got aired. I think I might book mark the page and watch it every morning when I come into work for inspiration. Inspiration for what? I don't know, because the guy quits his job in it.

Anyway, I think everyone should enjoy this one.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I hope I don't get fired for this post.

I think anyone who has ever worked in a corporate environment is probably familiar with a couple things:

  1. The movie Office Space
  2. Hearing about how their company is losing money and trying to keep their head above water.

Now, most everyone is down with #1, but if you work for Starbucks or the Gap, I’m sure you haven’t felt the pain of #2.

I do not work for Starbucks or the Gap. I’m glad I don’t work for Starbucks or the Gap. I’m feeling the pain of #2 though.

Now when you first hear about #2, it’s usually in a weekly company wide meeting if it hasn’t been gossiped out yet by the coffee machine. If it has been gossiped about then it’s usually by some lowly VP’s assistant who got freaked out and “just needed to talk about it.” Thankfully, our Leadership is pretty good here and most heard in the company wide meeting.

The first time they mention it, it doesn’t really phase you too much if it even registers. The reason for this is because you usually hear about it once or twice a year anyway.

Here are the key phrases/sentences you hear when they talk about it:

“Cash Crunch”

“Tighten our Belts”

“Don’t buy hookers on the company card.”

Well, I made up the third one, but I’m sure it’s happened somewhere before.

The second time you hear about the company losing money and trying not to go under, you figure they haven’t finished devising their plan yet and they might have to let a couple of people go, but probably not.

I don't think most people really get too bothered by these meetings until the 3rd or 4th one comes up. It really starts getting interesting though when the CEO resigns. I find it humorous though when they start sending back the leased plants, but it starts getting bothersome when they start sending out company wide e-mails about how they’re “slashing your benefits” and it’s going to cost more per check to cover your HMO.

That last one happened yesterday. For some reason, I’m not quite that bothered yet. Maybe when I get my next check I’ll be a little pissed, but I’ve been “really” pissed before when it came to being within the walls of this company.

Overall though, I really love my job and the company I work for. If they need to cut some benefits here and there, I’m OK with that. They’ve honestly done the best they can not to fire anyone, which I find admirable. I’ll take a $30 a pay period cut for someone not to lose their job. I hope they feel the same way about me.

Hopefully though, we’ll keep treading water and the tide will start to go down, because your legs can only kick for so long.

Friday, May 05, 2006

crazy ass cell phone post 2

and im back on the crazy ass cell phone. I usually hang out with my friend every weekend so it's pretty easy to high jack his phone while sitting in a bar. We'rathvortex tonight. This is one of the places i run poker. I love this bar. They even have a make shift mariachi band walking around playing horribly. Atleast it's entertaining. so ive been thinking today. Tomorrow will make it 17 weeks of no smoking. I'm pretty excited about it. I think i'm pretty much over it now. I still grind my teeth some from stress but if thats the only problem im doing good. well back to drinking. Please forgive the typo's and god bless mexico and all of the illegal immigrants. Shit they fucking built atlanta!

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Gnarls Barkley

It's 12:20PM.

I'm sitting here in my cubicle at work and something has happened to me. I started listening to the Gnarls Barkley album my roommate gave me and I feel the urge to kick my fucking cubicle wall down and start breaking it down James Brown Style for my co-workers. Seriously, Listening to this makes me want to make love to 300 African Goddesses and hit The Compound and dance like a black man at the same time. Decisions, Decisions.

If you've never heard of Gnarls Barkley, you need to check them out, It's Cee-Lo and Danger Mouse. If you don't know who they are, well you need to check out their other projects then, but Cee-Lo is in the Dungeon Family. If you don't know who The Dungeon Family is, well, just know that Andre 3000 and Big Boi from OutKast are in The Dungeon Family. That's good enough.

Well, now it is.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006


If you haven't seen this video before, you need to right now.

It's hillarious.

Performancing at work.

Thanks to Shane Nickerson for showing me this Hawesome extension.I love the internet. I love Firefox. If you don't have Firefox, get it now and add the performancing extension. You won't regret it.

I stumbled onto this site so I could check out the performancing extension and I thought it was funny. It's sad, but I think some people actually operate from this flow chart. Maybe, I should too.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Holy Fucking Shit Bat Man!


Acronyms are funny. Well, funny ones are funny. The one I just made isn't funny. It's funnier just to say Holy Fucking Shit Bat Man!

Anyway, I have this great fucking story to blog, but I've been so busy at work lately that I haven't had much opportunity to write it out.

Hopefully, I'll do it tomorrow, while it's still fresh.

I had mentioned in a previous post about doing some sales for the company I work for. Well, we're a month in and it's going effing radtacular!

I'm having a blast. Mainly, because I feel challenged and it's more of a game to me than anything. It doesn't hurt that I get commission. Hopefully, I can keep the numbers up.

The product i'm selling is being offered at a discounted rate right now. The price goes up June 1st. After June it won't be as easy, so i'm working my ass off until then.

As i'm going through this period, I just keep thinking about cheesy quotes:

"Strike while the iron is hot."

"Take the opportunity of a lifetime, in the lifetime of the opportunity."

Yeah, this is the stuff you think about when you work for motivational speakers!

Attitude is everything, motherfuckers!