Friday, June 30, 2006

Happy 4th of July Week End!

Part 1:

Part 2:

Spidey Sense

I like comic books. Shit, I still buy action figures. After seeing Superman last night and the trailer for the Spiderman 3, I've been getting geared up this morning by reading the back stories on Venom and Sandman. I pretty much knew all of the background on Venom, but I just wanted to make sure. I never followed the storyline of Sandman, so I checked him out as well. Click on their links if you want to know what the hell is going on when you go see Spiderman 3. You have plenty of time though. It doesn't come out until next May.

I could give my opinion on the new Superman movie. The rest of the blogosphere is, I'm sure. I'll just say that I enjoyed watching it and I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars. It's definitely worth seeing, but I'm more pumped about the Spiderman movie. I'll leave it at this though, Brandon Routh was awesome as Superman/Clark Kent and Kevin Spacey tore it up as Lex Luthor.


Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Good Vibrations

One quick and easy way for me to get an idea to blog about is through one of my favorite Firefox extensions: Stumble. I've talked about stumbling in other posts and many of you have felt the effects, all 4 of you (thanks for reading Grandma). I've decided that i'm going to try and Stumble everyday and hopefully get a blog entry out of it. Why am I doing this? No clue really, just wanting to try and be more creative I guess.

I started my little project today and one of the first web sites that I came across was Concerned Women for America. How the hell did the program think this website is in my interest category? I think my categories are indie rock, movies, comedy and dead baby jokes. How the fuck did I get this conservative, George W. Bush dick sucking content? Oh well, It's just a program and it's definitely served it's purpose: taking me to websites that I wouldn't normally visit. I definitely would never go here, I think Kevin may have it as one of his favorite links though.

When stumble sent me to this glorious right wing site it didn't throw me on the front page, but actually connected me to a very informative article about Harry Potter. I already know the Christians hate Harry and his demonic ways, but now they're going after his broomstick. I guess it does aid him in conjuring up satanic beings from the abyss to assist him in the take over of small children's minds. They do have a good point, but while reading the article I was surprised to see that they weren't concerned about the broom's "magical" powers. What seemed to upset the Concerned Women for America was the fact that the broom stick was giving their children a little taste of the future. I'm not talking about it predicting Armageddon or even the fall of Condoleeza Rice, I'm talking about sexual stimulation.

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It appears that the broom stick was created with a vibrating mechanism which allows the child to feel like they're flying (I've heard rumor that sometimes these sensations make you feel like you're flying). Atleast it's not false advertisement. Despite the complaints, some parents are quoted as saying the following praises of the product:

“My 12-year-old daughter is a big Harry Potter fan, and loved the part
with the Nimbus 2000, so I decided to buy her this toy,”

“Even my daughter’s friends enjoy playing with this
fun toy. I was surprised at how long they can just sit in her room and
play with this magic broomstick!!”

“They play for hours in her bedroom with this great toy. They really
seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and
vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too!”

This seems to be a great way to market "toys". If you can get 17 years old girls to get into your product you have definitely extpanded on your target market. Shit, I think if they would've had something like that out when I was a kid I wouldn't have spent so much damn money on ninja turtles. Here's the link if you'd like to read the whole article:

Monday, June 26, 2006

A glimpse into my childhood.


"They think I do not know a buttload of crap about the Gospel, but I do!"

This is my new addiction.

If you haven't tried these chips before. I think you should.
This finally died.

I guess I'll just have to wait for this to come out or for these to go on sale.

I think I'm pretty excited about this guy returning. Atleast it will be sweet to see Kevin Space play Lex Luthor.

Hopefully, I'll get this piece out of the shop today. Blown head gaskets don't make for a good week.

Yet, I refuse to have a case of the Mondays!

Rock On!

Friday, June 23, 2006

This shit is biblical.

“It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.”

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Car Trouble

I love driving. I really do, as long as the traffic isn't bad and I have something radical playing on the stereo. The idea of rounding the curves of some old country road listening to Johnny Cash sing about forbidden love is very appealing to me. Except for when your engine starts making an odd noise and the next thing you know, you're on the side of that road in the middle of nowhere. It's pitch black outside, your hood is up and you're just waiting for horrific events to unfold which spawn the sequel to "Deliverance" which will be based on a true story because of your damn car.

I really don't want my death to be told through a Wes Craven flick. Then again, if someone cool played me and it made my "15 minutes" last closer to an hour an a half, I might be down with that. Jared Leto looked kind of cool with bleach blonde hair in Fight Club. That could work.

Anyway, I bring all of this up because a couple weekends ago my car started randomly smoking. Well, it wasn't completely random because I knew my car had been either leaking or using alot of coolant lately. Seemed like every time I looked up I was putting more coolant in my car. I wasn't completely lazy about it though. I took it in and got a fuel injection, a radiator flush and some new filters. I asked if I would need a tune up after all of this and they said I was good to go. Liars or idiots, I don't which word would be better. We'll just call them ignorant.

I blew a head gasket last week. If you've ever had to deal with one of these you know what shit I'm in right now. It costs an arm and a leg to fix. The first quote I got was $1850. After they quoted that they went ahead and asked me to bend over and grab my ankles.

I called around and the mechanic my Dad goes to ended up quoting around $1250. Not bad considering the first quote. I dropped it off today to get them to check it out. We're going to find out tomorrow if $1250 is the real deal. I hope to God that it's in that range. If not I may not be blogging for a while. I'll have to sell my computer. What am I talking about. I'm blogging from my girlfriend's computer right now anyway. Atleast I'll have blogging though, since I won't have anything else.

I'm thinking about auctioning off some different things on ebay to cover the price. I don't know how she is going to feel about it, but I thought a one-night stand with my girlfriend might pay the bills? Shit, Demi Moore did it for 1 Million back in '93, but then again, that was a movie. Hmm...I'll come up with something.

If worse comes to worse, I guess I could just ride this bus with this guy.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

God's Gonna Cut You Down

The last material that Johnny recorded is going to be released on the 4th of July. It's called American V: A Hundred Highways. I've listened to a few of the songs including "Like the 309", which was the last song he wrote. If you go here you can listen to these songs as well.

I've been listening to Johnny Cash for a very long time and I've heard more of his songs than the average man, and I have to say that these songs are some of his best. Johnny Cash and I have a strange relationship. I feel like the man is my grandfather. As soon as he opens his mouth I feel like he's talking straight to me. There isn't alot of music and people that I feel like I connect with as much as him. It's a damn shame I never got to see him live before he passed on.

Anyway, go check those songs out!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006


KFarmer tagged me with this deal.

I usually don't do these, but I love her style, so I'll follow through. I think I'm a few weeks late, but it's like they say, "Better late than never." This probably won't be that hard though, considering I think I'm a little off anyway.

Here we go:

6 weird things about Johnny C.

1. I don't like wearing white socks.

2. I don't like playing with or against pockets Jacks when I play Texas Hold Em' Style Poker. I usually lose.

3. I hate the following words:
4. I've never finished one of the books that my company sells.

5. I can sense bullshit a mile away.

6. I can be a clean freak, but my room is rarely clean and I never make my bed.

Sorry about the delay K, but I followed though!

Johnny C. vs. I-85 and the drivers from Hell

Starting on Monday and ending on Friday, most of us go to our 9-5 jobs. I usually rant and rave about how it's unnatural for human beings to sit behind a cubicle wall for 8 hours or more a day, baking in fluorescent tube lighting while the sun is shining,the birds are chirping and the humidity is steaming.

I rarely actually talk about "The Trek" though, not Star Trek. Even though I do miss Captain John Luke Picard battling it out with Borg and other evil space beings. I loved that show. I might have been young, but I did know one thing early on - Wil Wheaton has always been a tool. Minus his performance in "Stand By Me". I'll give him props for that, back to "The Trek" though.

"The Trek" that i'm talking about is the 35 minute commute I make to work each morning. My trek has not always been this bad, but it's actually been worse. At one point in time I was driving over an hour one way to work in bumper to bumper traffic. I seriously contemplated suicide and I'm not even the suicidal type. The closest I ever came to actually pulling the trigger was when I would make a make gun with my fingers and act like I was loading it and put it to my head. I don't know if this ever offered any relief, but it might have had some comic relief to anyone sitting in traffic next to me.

I currently live in the city, but I work in the burbs. The majority of Atlanta live in the burbs, but work in the city. Everyone is moving in the opposite direction that i'm going in!

Johnny C. +1 , I-85 nothing

I usually only hit traffic on my exit because who ever planned Clairmont Rd. probably didn't realize the volume of cars that it was going to one day hold. It's not that bad though, it's only a 20 minute jam on the most cluster-fucked of days! Once you get on I-85 it's smooth sailing. I've been cruising this path for the last year and it has been glorious.

Then out of nowhere they decide to start building bridges and doing other bullshit in Gwinnett County. I'm not even mad at Atlanta Traffic now. I'm mad at fucking Gwinnett County. If you're from this area, you know that Gwinnett County has been on a steady decline over the last 6 years. It went from being a nice family area to almost a ghetto in some areas. The north part of Gwinnett County is still respectable and that is why I deal with driving up here to work, not to mention they pay me.

Due to all of the construction, the nice flow of traffic has started coming to a stand still. This parking lot occurs about 2 miles before my exit. For no good reason they just randomly decide to shut down two lanes of traffic. They're not even working on that side of the road and they only do it three days of week. I don't get the logic behind it, but I'm sure it has to do with some bureaucratical government (those words are synonymous) decision to fix something that's not even broken.

Johnny C +1 , I-85 +1

As I sit in my car waiting to get charged for parking I glance over to the empty HOV lane. I know that it only goes about another quarter mile before it ends and becomes a regular lane again. I could by pass so much traffic if I just hop over one lane. As you probably already know, I do not have a passenger with me at this time of morning on my way to work. Most people don't. It's Atlanta. 1 Million people drive down a 6 to 8 lane highway by themselves. It's fucking crazy.

I curse under my breath as I stay in my lane. I hate mother fuckers who drive in that lane when they're by themselves. It's unethical and everytime I see it it makes me sick and I pray that they get caught. As much as I want to get to where I'm going, I will always resist the temptation of the dark side. I will not break the law in that form and fashion.

Meanwhile, I sit staring at the car in front of me with a numb look on my face. I'm surprised I wasn't drooling. I notice some cars flying by me in the HOV lane as our lane starts picking up a little bit. As we're moving along I look in every single car and truck to make sure that everyone has a passenger.

Red Honda - 2 White Dudes

Huge SUV - 1 Black Guy driving and 1 black guy sleeping.

Big Work Truck - 12 Mexicans

Nissan Sentra - 1 White girl driving and what the fuck?!? No one else!!!

"That's such bullshit!" I say to myself.

Right about that time, I look up to see a Police Car parked on the side of the road right where the HOV lane ends!!

I rejoice in my heart!

Now I wait to see what he does. The Girl in the Nissan rides up on the bumper of the work truck trying to hide her singleness. The Cop isn't fooled. Of course he's not, he's seen that trick before. Shit, he can spot a card board cut out across 6 lanes of traffic with his eyes closed. He turns his lights on and I see the girl in the Nissan pulled over half a mile down the road.

There is justice in the universe. I would normally feel sorry for her, but I do not. We all know the law. It would be one thing if she was speeding. We all speed.

The HOV lane is sacred territory. I think it's a heavenly realm. God is there. It's biblical:

"Where two or more are gathered in my name, I am there"

She entered the Holy of Holies alone with her shoes on and she was punished!!

As I drove by, I found AC/DC on my Ipod and cranked up "Highway to Hell". I rocked so hard the last 10 minutes of the trek that I expected someone to punch me in the face when I got to work. They didn't. I just went to my cube and turned on my computer, but as I sit here in my cube, I am filled with satisfaction.

Johnny C. +2 , I-85 +1

Johnny C. Wins!!

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

I'm intoxicated!


I saw this cartoon over at today. Hugh always hits the nail on the head when it comes to being jaded and cynical. If you haven't been over to gapingvoid yet, you really need to. Hugh's cartoons on the back of business cards is genius and he has one of the biggest blogs on the web. What more reason do you need to go check him out?!?!

Here are some more of his cartoons for your enjoyment.






Shit, I'm starting to blog atleast once a day again, if not more. Old K'apgar is starting to rub off on me. The only difference is that he actually has readers!

Rock,Paper,Scissor Biotch!

Every morning when I come into work and boot up the old PC my MSN messenger automatically comes up. We're allowed to have it here on our desktops because it makes it easier to talk to other folks in the office about work related matters. We usually end up just drawing silly pictures to one another and making lunch plans. Well, everytime it launches it gaves me a little front page with some different news stories, the local weather and other little front page tips that you don't really need, like your horoscope or where to eat if you're ever in Aurora, IL.

One of the stories caught my eye this morning though. It was about Rock, Paper, Scissors. I'm a long time player and champion in my own mind when it comes to this game. After reading the story I decided to do a little further online research to see what else might come up regarding this legendary game. I was astounded.

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Check out that logo! Check out the site! I want to join this shit or atleast get a t-shirt!

They actually have some video on the front page of the site giving some more detail to their reasoning and some live action of their championships. As you dive a little firther into their site they even have advanced tips to playing the game. Normally, I would think the idea of advanced tips would be ridiculous, but I'm also a guy who buys poker strategy books. I can't pass judgement.

Along with the advanced play feature, they also have a player profiler section as well as a strategy guide and an online trainer. I definitely have major respect for these guys to go to such great length with something like this.

And for the young man or lady who never made it as far as they'd like in their sporting career, they offer a great beneifit to joining up with the RPS, the possibility of having your own trading card.

Patrick Merry

He's not throwing a peace sign. That's mother fucking scissors!!

Monday, June 12, 2006

Crazy ass cell phone post 4!

Can you believe it? I'm on the 4th one of these posts. I'm actually running a poker game right now. I'm really bored tonight, not to mention the fucking idiots are out this evening. I know i can be an ass sometimes, but some people can be so unreasonable. Life seems to be in a lull for me lately, maybe this is why people get married. Maybe they figure this is as good as it's going to get. Some weird guy who has been an ass all night just patted my shoulder when he walked by. People are so weird sometimes. Anyway, i apologize for being a slack ass commentor these days. I still read all the blogs these days. I think it' s awesome to see people grow as writers through blogging. I'm probably devolving, hence the crazy ass cell phone posts. Well, back to the poker game. Goodnight

Sunday, June 11, 2006

End of the week's end

I've always felt like Sundays were very similar to death row. You've had a good run. It was fun while it lasted, but now you've been captured and time has caught up with you.

Death awaits.

Well, work awaits, but you get the idea.

Probably not the healthiest of analogies, comparing work to the electric chair or lethal injection.

I'm sure some desperate soul would choose the latter though.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Punch me in the face!

There's just something about a fight that makes you realize that you're alive. I think alot of us walk through our days like zombies. Maybe that's just me, but it seems like it's still June 8, 2002. Where did the last four years of life go. I'm going to wake up tomorrow and have grand kids and be thinking, "what the fucked happened and where the hell did the time go?"

Is that a pessimistic thought?


Is it true.


On a positive note, thoughts like these make you want to take action and do something worthwhile since we're all going to die!!!

That kind of brings me to my point. There actually isn't a point, but this whole stream of consiousness blogging is all that I can muster up these days.

Remember in "Fight Club" when Brad Pitt and Edward Norton get in their first fight? It wakes Norton up from his zombie-like life style. He realizes the cubicle isn't the place for him and he basically goes crazy according to social standards, but it's only a movie, right?

I watched this episode The Sopranos once where Tony was all depressed and on alot of prescription medicine. He was going through life in a daze, until some mofo put a hit out on his life. Tony got attacked by a couple of dudes and next thing you know the adrenaline is pumping and he's laughing his ass off as he is making his get away from his would-be assassins.

I think in these two situations with Tony Soprano and Edward Norton, there is some thing that can definitely be learned here.

Violence is good?!?!

No, I don't think that's it, but maybe when you're in a situation where your life is on the line, it completely wakes you up. We all fucking knew that anyway though. How can we come to a point though where we don't allow ourslves to become zombies? It seems like we should have some sort of life checkup with stuff like this.

I think it would be painful, probably like a punch in the face. Maybe you should quit your job. Maybe you should get new friends. Maybe you should join the mob. Or maybe you could just start a Fight Club.

The first two might be decent idea's, but the latter are probably not very beneficial.

The guy sitting in the cube next to me is a sky diver. I think jumping out of a plane would give me a heart attack so, myabe something not so exciting.

I think I might take up crime fighting.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006


When i'm driving around in the middle of the day during the week, whether I'm on my lunch break, out sick or maybe the company gave us the day off I sometimes get the feeling like I shouldn't be out and about. It feels like those days when your mom let you stay home from school "sick" one more day after you've been out with the flu. You're healthy enough to go, but she's just being a nice mom and letting you relax and run errands with her.

As a kid, it's kind of a sneaky feeling. You shouldn't be doing this, but since mom OK's it, you're in the clear. I always loved days like that.

I haven't gone to school in 9 years. You would think I wouldn't get that feeling anymore, but I don't mind it. I guess it reminds me that childhood wasn't so long ago.

Stumbling Through Life

Some people like to watch TV sometimes, but other people like to take it to the next level. Other people like to make mix tapes for their crushes, but I was always too embarrassed to do that when I was a kid. Not to mention I wasn't very creative in the musical sense. Some people also worship weird gods. I guess every god would be weird if it wasn't yours. Some people worship money.

I want to see this movie. I don't want to go to the doctor. I live across the street from a Publix. I don't have one.

Yo Adriane!!

Airplane meets Austin Powers?

I saw the Light!


Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Happy 6.6.06!!

When I was about 6 or 7, my parents started making me go to church at a pretty young age. On top of that I went to some sort of religious school as well, until my Junior year of highschool. My parents were always pretty cool about God and Jesus. They never shoved it down my throat and told me I was going to hell because I listened to non-christian music. It was pretty funny though because I got judged alot at school because my parents were "charasmatic" and read the NIV Bible. The same people who joked around by calling me "Harry Tic" (heretic, if you're a little slow), were the same ones being racist and knocking their girl friends up, go figure. It's usually that way though.

Anyway, when I hit about 16 I became super-crazy Christian boy who wanted to save the world! Everyone was lost and going to hell and it was my job to let them know about it and bring them to the light!!!! The Interesting thing was, my parents didn't have a hand in my fanatical state. I actually pissed them off quite a bit with my own self-righteousness and judgemental behavior. I can honestly say though, I was sincere. I did care about people and I wasn't trying to make them mad, but I just wanted everyone to know about Jesus. There is a Bible verse in Psalms or Proverbs I believe, that says "Zeal without knowledge is dangerous."

It is dangerous, because here is a potentially good thing depending on your belief system and instead of showing grace and acceptance you end up throwing a bunch of rules at people that you, yourself really can't follow either. So, at the end of the day you end up messing up the message and turning people off and feeling like shit because you're so full of condemnation. Self condemnation that is, because you can't match up with what you're preaching. It's a vicious cycle that I had to learn the hard way.

It sucks beating yourself up all the time over not being perfect. I went through that phase for a couple of years and finally just burned myself out. I still believed, but I stopped caring. People are going to do what they want to do regardless of whatever you say. I didn't realize it then, but that's the beauty of life. We all have free will to do whatever the hell we want to do. I like not being a robot.

So by default, I just started accepting people for who they were and where they were at, because honestly I was right there with them. It's a hard lesson to have to learn, but people listen to you alot more when you get off your pedestal and get down there with them. I think what alot of "Christian folks" don't realize, is that we're all down here in it together, but they're just so high and mighty in their own mind that they don't see it.

I think that's why I still believe though, because Jesus was down here in it with us. That's not a message for anyone who reads this blog. That's a message to me, because I know that no matter what someone else believes or doesn't believe that I still care about them and I know God cares about them, regardless of where they've been or what they've been done. Shit, I think we've all done some pretty fucked up shit at one time or another. Some people just hide it better than others.

With all of that said, it's nice to think about Grace. It feels good to know that i'm not perfect and that I don't have to be. I think Jesus said it best when the Pharisees asked him what the greatest commandment was.

"Love God with all of your heart and love other people."

Easier said than done, but it sure beats the hell out of trying to follow some list of unachievable rules.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

"Man, that girl and I blogged all night!!"

From time to time, through out my day at work, I find myself on the Gmail website. I actually have it minimized along with a few other websites I check often - Myspace and my blog. What can I say? I like to be well connected. Not to mention, I have Outlook minimized, along with the Instant Messenger we use at work.

When checking my Gmail account it allows me to view other Gmail users on my contact lists that are online(checking their Gmail accounts) as well. I occasionally see a couple of different people online and we chat here and there. The only person who I see on a daily basis though is Kevin. He's usually in the middle of some very important project, while i'm just trying to kill some time before lunch.

We chat off and and on through out the day. It's usually about blogging or work. One we love, the other we umm...are glad we can do it, but wish we could do it from home. For whatever reason, today's conversation went down the same road it normally does, but took a turn for which we are so amused by, we both decided to blog about it.

The following is a portion of our conversation:

Kevin: Oooohhh, Johnny... you little eFlirt.
me: yeah man, that's why I started a blog
for chicks!!!!111
Kevin: Hit on all the geek chicks?
me: Hell yeah!!!
Kevin: I'm telling Ash.
me: I only hook up with chicks who blog and are on myspace!
well, she's on myspace and she is on Live Journal..close enough.
Kevin: But is she open to a blogger orgy? Sounds like that's what you have planned, you dog, you.
me: dude, she's open to anythinf and everything...I once shot blog all over her face.
Kevin: Dude, that is so blog!
me: She likes it when I fill her blog hole.
Kevin: What a little blogwhore!
me: Blogger...I hardly know her!
Liquor in the front...Blogger in the back.
She likes it Bloggy Style! Kevin: Blogger Fire Department... find them hot, leave them wet.

me: Co-ed Naked Blogging: Type dirty To me!
Kevin: Co-ed naked blogger billiards: get felt on the table.

me: Co-ed Naked Blogging: Want to see my "post"?
Kevin: Co-ed Naked Blogging: the longer the post, the better.
me: Co-ed Naked Blogging: My blog goes deep.
Kevin: Co-ed Naked Blogging: Tickle these keys!
me: Co-Ed Naked Blogging: Want to see me blog roll?
Kevin: Co-ed Naked Blogging: Feed Co-ed Naked Blogging: Do you mind if I see your stats?
Kevin: Co-ed Naked Blogging: I'm "up"dated every day
Co-ed Naked Blogging: Comment on this! me: Co-ed Naked Blogging: No one wants to see the back end of Wil Wheaton's Blog!Kevin: Co-ed Naked Blogging: Definitely words for my enjoyment
me: Co-ed Naked Blogging: Is that a laptop mouse in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Think of this what you will, but it definitely helped break up the monotony of my day. I hope in the future Kevin and I can take our blog sexual innuendos to new heights. As guys we always love to raise our "bars".

Also, be sure to check out Kevin's "position" on our conversation.