He looked like I just told him his father was gay.
“Cannibalistic Infanticide?” I said.
“Yeah, well, what the hell is that?”
“It’s when parents eat their young in nature. All kinds of animals do it, chimpanzees, elephants, lions, even cats and dogs.”
The term “Morning Sickness” came to mind as I watched him stare down into his coffee.
“How does that even pertain to working for a company?”
He seemed bothered.
I knew I was going to have to enlighten him if I brought this up.
I took a deep breath and proceeded.
“Well, the last company I worked for brought me in, took me under their wing, like a mother would with her child. They trained me and even raised me up in their organization. I worked long hours and committed most of my time to see them succeed, became one of the pack, so to speak. It was right about that time that I wanted to advance in the company and I brought some new idea’s to the table, started showing my strength. They felt threatened, cut me off at the knees by dispersing my responsibilities to others and ultimately fired me. It’s similar to the way a cowardly animal would act if they sensed a more dominant animal around, even if it’s one their own who will never turn on them, destroy and consume, fire and absorb.”
He finally responded like a normal human being.
“Well I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I’m not sorry, but do you understand now?”
He shook his head. “Yeah, but it sounds kind of brutal.”
This guy was a good liar. Why else would he be here?
“It usually is. It’s like a big game of Monopoly!” I laughed.
I could tell I concerned him.
The coffee in his cup had to be getting cold by now, but he nervously raised it to his lips for one last sip. After he placed the mug back on his desk he pushed his chair out and stood to his feet. I mimicked his actions.
I could see it in his face before the lies started to spew.
“Well, thank you for coming in today Mr. Carroll. I’ll be reviewing your resume with our HR department and we’ll get back to you later this week.”
This prick didn’t appreciate honesty and he sure as hell wasn’t going to hire me."Fine by me though, I don't need anymore ammunition for my dysfunctional work place analogies.
We extended hands and firmly shook.
“Thank you for your time and the great opportunity.” I said with a smirk.