Friday, January 08, 2010

Doctor Sleep

Everything is black. This room is large, but vacant. Maybe I’m outside or in a cage. I'm definitely in a spaceship. I could be wearing a mask. There would be more light if my eyes were closed.

I like it.

Someone’s talking. Each syllable they enunciate makes my head feel like a floor tom. Maybe it’s electronic, a drum machine that plays in rhythm with their every word. I hit the snooze button. The beat trails off and I feel like dancing. The bathroom is down the hall.

If I don't get up now I might piss myself, but I’m cold and pissing myself doesn’t seem like such a bad option when there's only two. The debate ends, my journey begins.

Trying to find the light switch on a wall reminds me of braille. If I was blind I would lose. If I was mute, pointing would be my way. If I was deaf I’d probably curl up and die.I am the epitome of human waste. I’d be completely useless if not fully functional.

The weak are truly strong.

Finally, the switch is between my fingers. It reminds me of a cigarette on its last drag, the thought causes me to dry heave. The switch is heavy and the click makes my ears ring.My eyes are still closed, but I’m surrounded by artificial light. It reminds me of my mother. As a child she would wake me for school in the morning by abruptly switching on the lights, singing and dancing to show tunes. I’m the only straight man that I know who can sing along to Rodgers and Hammerstein musicals.

The hallway seems long and reminds me of the Overlook Hotel.
I close my eyes when I think of dead girls staring at me.
Now I'm scared and wouldn't mind hearing my mother sing "My Favorite Things" to me. I hum along. My index finger involuntarily moving up and down to the chorus.

The bathroom is my finish line and I congratulate myself for finishing the race.
I step straight into the shower. My clothes haven't come off this fast since 6th grade. Relief is mine. I watch last night go down the drain.

Bathing seems like a good idea until the water hits me.
The shower head releases it's power and it feels like acupuncture.
A love/hate relationship with China suddenly forms.
Pain or euphoria, Shang or Zhou, steamed or fried?
All of these decisions to ponder!

And now it sounds like someone is trying to break down the bathroom door.