Someone had actually made an addition. Two standard poodles were sitting in the middle of the living room floor. They had mohawks. They didn't make a sound. They could've been statues.
A rolled up dollar bill and a smiley face outlined with cocaine were on the dinning room table. Some of the powder had fallen on the floor. It made a trail, like bread crumbs, to the bathroom. The door was cracked open.
I stood in the door way and was greeted by a naked man wearing a Michael Myers mask. He was taking a shit.
"Uh...Hey man...Your mom said she'd be right back."
Most people would call 911, but I know a first date when I see one.