Wednesday, December 05, 2012

ATL > Chicago

You should finish packing before embarking upon a one night stand. You can't really time those sorts of things though.

My dog does not have a homosexual prejudice.

Women always forget something.

Not all homosexuals hate Chik-Fila.

Why is there a Christmas tree in the trunk?

Cigarettes are a better companion than most people.

There should a USB iPhone charger for every seat in a car.

It's ok to be crazy in front of your best friends.

Hugs are patience in physical form.

Walmart. Boxed wine. Knitting needles.

I use the bathroom too much. It would be terrible if I'm already getting diabetes, but not unexpected.

I wish I didn't want to punch him in the face every time I hear his name.

Don't say the f word in texts to your mother if you want a response.

Teresa who works at the CVS outside of Chattanooga at the age of 50 is an expert in budget cosmetics and Iron Maiden tour dates.

Bluegrass sounds better when you're driving through the mountains.

Chattanooga is depressing.

I always forget how much I like Elton John for 20 minutes.

Saturday's alright for fighting.

Spotify sucks in the mountains.

5 hour energy sucks on road trips when you're not driving.

What did people do on road trips before iPhones?

"I'm thinking of something orange."

Marilyn Monroe had a chronic flatulence problem.

Punk rock sing alongs kill about 30 minutes of each trip.

Nashville radio is terrible.

If I didn't have Chris Johnson on my fantasy football team I'd forget that Nashville had a football team.

It sounds like Bruce Springsteen wrote the latest Killers album.

Everyone in Nashville looks like a country musician including the girl working the counter at the gas station who speaks broken english.

I don't want to watch that TV show "Nashville" because I don't want to fall out of love with Connie Britton.

Clear eyes. Full hearts.

Racist souvenirs at a gas station. Welcome to Nashville.



I always hated this place until I started writing about it. Now I have it tattooed on my body.

Old Barns.

I asked this girl a few days ago if she liked Elvis Costello. She said "I guess."

I'm in the same state as my mom, but she never responded to my earlier text with the F word in it. I should've just said "happy thanksgiving" or something about the weather.

Jon doesn't say much in general.

Erica is eating in apple in the backseat.

Kentucky has suggestive names for their state parks. Big bone lick. Beaver lick.

It's weird when girls won't let you go down on them. I went down on this girl last night. When she climaxed I climbed back up from the basement and she looked like she wanted to marry me or she just normally has crazy eyes.

Crazy eyes are acceptable when fucking.

Who needs a cigarette.

Jon is listening to Eminem.

You know when you get stuck behind tractor trailers carting a pre-fabricated house down the interstate and you wish you could see the house fall off because you're pissed that you got stuck behind the car following it with a "wide load" sign?

We just passed one of those in a ditch.

I miss Nate Dogg.

The darkness brings out my anxiety.

The birthplace of Abraham Lincoln.

Elizabeth Town. Never saw the movie.

Louisville is bigger than I thought

Lexington > Louisville > Florence

Kentucky was over quickly. Felt like the amount of time I lived there.

I still like the Breeders, the band.


My best friend dumped me for the girl who dumped me.

They still sell a bow and arrow set at Cracker Barrel.

I've eaten dumplings twice this week

You get three sides at Cracker Barrel.

I know the lyrics to more Christian rap songs than I'd like to admit.


My body won't stop trembling.

11.5 hours